Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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