Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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