There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
