Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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