of course. lets lasso hookers.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
