i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
