see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
