The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize