Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
