I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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