Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
