I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
being pregnant is like rehab
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
