i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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