Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
