Non-Jews are for practice
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
