in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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