I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
