have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
