called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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