i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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