Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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