she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
