We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
