I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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