did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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