i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize