If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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