I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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