I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
