whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
