that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
