Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
