Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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