Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
