plz talk dirty to me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
