I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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