Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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