I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
