so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
