He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
nutella sex= disaster
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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