can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
