Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
