Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
