We're facebook friends in real life
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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