Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I look better un-naked...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
