i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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