Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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