why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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