well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
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He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
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You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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