Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
