is your mom at the bar?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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