I could have mohawked her pubes.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
