my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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