So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
