we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
