Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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