It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Randomize
