the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize