I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
