you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
