I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
