Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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