What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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